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Sexuality


Safe space for LGTBTQ and Allies, and any discussions of kinks, sexual experiences, and musings. Absolutely no shaming allowed!

[scrubbed]

Posted Over 1 Year ago by [scrubbed]

[scrubbed]

There are 10 Replies


I used to fantasize about bondage.
I used to ask my partners if they’d let me bind or restrain them.
If they said no (all but two said no) I’d ask if they’d bind or restrain me. (They said “no” to that too.)
I guess that makes me a wannabe switch? Who’s more of a wannabe Dom than a wannabe sub?
But anyway; two of them said “yes”, and that was how I found out I’m absolutely crap at being a Dom.
So it’s all fantasy, not reality, for me. Like anal sex or the full-Nelson position. Things I’m likelier to watch porn about than actually participate in.
I might also actually like them better as porn than as reality; the way I like lesbian porn better than I’d like being in a bedroom with a lesbian couple who realistically would definitely not be into me and would probably be screaming at me to get out or they’d call the police.
...
I don’t know what the results would be if I took that test. I’ll take it in a minute if I can finish it in 15 minutes or less.

Over 1 Year ago
chiarizio
 

Double-posted somehow.
= Results from bdsmtest.org ==
81% Vanilla
78% Rope bunny
76% Rigger
73% Experimentalist
71% Submissive
71% Voyeur
62% Switch
49% Dominant
47% Daddy/Mommy
47% Non-monogamist
43% Exhibitionist
39% Boy/Girl
36% Primal (Prey)
32% Pet
24% Primal (Hunter)
22% Sadist
20% Slave
19% Masochist
19% Brat tamer
18% Owner
13% Master/Mistress
13% Brat
10% Ageplayer
3% Degradee
2% Degrader

They put me as more Sub than Dom.
I don’t feel that’s accurate.
So I gave them 4 stars out of 5.

Kinda surprised at being non-monogamist; but upon reflection that might be accurate.

81% vanilla is probably valid.
So is being more of a voyeur than an exhibitionist.

.....

For instance; right this minute I have to leave for an appointment with my urologist, and I am NOT looking forward to it.

Over 1 Year ago
chiarizio
 

I just realized I’ve had threesomes with two married couples.
Before the one with my commadre and compadre turned into a ménage, I had another threesome with the couple next door.
I had forgotten.

Over 1 Year ago
chiarizio
 

[scrubbed]

Over 1 Year ago
[scrubbed]

Re: watching as opposed to doing.
Since my ex died my fantasy sex life and porn-watching sex life seem to be about all that’s left of my sex life.
After our divorce she used to encourage me about women I had appointments with; she’d ask me if they were dates. I had to answer “I don’t know”. If they were, nothing ever came of them, if you know what I mean.

Re: my appointment.
Before the shutdown mid-to-late-March of last year I was supposed to have a cat scan with contrast; something radio-opaque in my veins that my kidneys would filter out. I’m a year behind on tests. Dr. W.’s staff is scheduling them for me. He thinks the weeks I spent peeing cranberry-juice-colored urine ended too recently not to go ahead with the tests ASAP.

Re: kinks I’m just now remembering.
Wow, how could I forget so much?
I’ve only ever been in one household-of-3, though I did have a brief fling with a second married couple.

One day my commadre told me:
“Sometimes you’re gentle and tender; and I like that. Sometimes you’re wild and violent; and I like that too!”
I liked hearing her say that.
Another day she told me:
“You’re a better lover than [husband’s name].”
I did NOT like hearing her say that.
Why didn’t I? I don’t know, I guess.
She used to joke about moving the three of us to Tibet, where it’s common for a woman to be married to both of two brothers.

Am I reminiscing like an old fart?

Over 1 Year ago
chiarizio
 

[scrubbed]

Over 1 Year ago
[scrubbed]

Do you think that maybe you didn't like hearing that comment because it implied a competition? I know that I would find that troubling.

There is that.
He was my compadre.
I didn’t come into their marriage intending to break it up.
I’d already had my own marriage fail and I didn’t want to be the reason that happened to anyone else; especially not two of my best friends.
Maybe that’s why.

Another possibility is I was just shy about carrying the entire burden of a husband’s responsibilities all on just my own shoulders.
My marriage had failed and I was not confident I could be a good husband all by myself.

Maybe.

=======

Back to meandering reminiscence.

I think both of the women who let me try to bind or restrain them did so just to please me.

The first one was my first long-term frequent-sleepover girlfriend after the break up of my first marriage. She was before my ménage with my compadre and commadre.

The second one was my second wife.
I was her first, and as it turned out her only, lover.
She was willing to do anything sexual to please me sexually.
She also had a tendency to pants me in public. That is, to pull me out of my trousers; my underpants were still on.
But one time, with the notion in her head that I’d enjoy exhibitionism, she took John Thomas in hand to treat him to some sunshine and fresh air. That turned out to be an error.

She was much easier to get along with in general than my first wife; both in the bedroom and everywhere else. Even about my job.

It wasn’t until we adopted that anything came up that I just could never do right. In fact if I’m not misremembering — maybe I am — it wasn’t until our daughter started school.

Over 1 Year ago
chiarizio
 

@CZM:
About kinks?
Is this relevant? https://cbbforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=308331#p308331

Over 1 Year ago
chiarizio
 

I was talking to some woman who was deeply involved in kink. Her main fetish was DDLG, and she had a lot of other brutal degrading and masochistic fetishes. She had me take this test, though, and I forgot what most of the results were. I remember being almost 100% dominant, and 0% into age play, 0% switch, and pretty low when it came to inflicting or receiving pain or suffering. That is no surprise, I find a lot of those things to be completely abborhent, especially anything that even resembles pedophilia.

Over 1 Year ago
Doctor Doom

Old bump but oh well I wanted to post this at some point for whatever reason and now I can. I took this a while back, but I think the test didn't know what to do with me lol. Also switch is at the top which can be either submissive or dominant, but all the top stuff is submissive stuff.

= Results from bdsmtest.org ==
78% Switch
74% Submissive
70% Boy/Girl (Littles (girls/boys) are submissive spirits with a strong flavor childlike innocence. They long for a nurturing loving dominant who plays a guiding, almost parental role in their lives) *and there is no link at all with pedophilia
66% Degradee
61% Vanilla
59% Pet
58% Non-monogamist
58% Primal (Prey)
58% Ageplayer
45% Slave
43% Experimentalist
43% Brat
42% Rope bunny
36% Voyeur
32% Masochist
28% Exhibitionist

Over 1 Year ago
Grey Echelon

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