Requests Roleplaying Video Games Entertainment & Media
Politics & World General Spirituality & Philosophy Worldbuilding
Creative Forum The Sports Center Science, Math, & Technology The Nostalgia Forum
Sexuality Hot Takes Complaints Awwww
Hobbies      

Spirituality & Philosophy


What is life? What happens after death? How do we live morally to become our best selves? Let's discuss!

Still tyring to get a therapist

Posted Over 1 Year ago by tnu

I really need to see a therapist I've kept tryign to kick the process in to gear and I"m going to try agian wh en I can reach someone involved in a few hours. But I jsut had another existential freakout and owund up in a wierld state of paralysis for several hours.

There are 29 Replies


I similarly need to make and keep appointments with various specialists; neurologist and dermatologist and urologist and so on.
If I figure out how to restore my discipline and compliance, I’ll let you know.
Will you do the same for me?

Over 1 Year ago
chiarizio
 

Will do.

Over 1 Year ago
tnu

Thank!

Over 1 Year ago
chiarizio
 

It's so worth it. Even if the first person isn't the right fit. Do what you can to push through and keep trying.

Therapy saved my life and I don't think I'm exaggerating about that.

Over 1 Year ago
Tek Shmansen

In recent years my therapy has been working much better.
As a result I have been much less shy about volunteering that I needed it.
....
Most of my biggest problems had been usually controlled for quite a number of years; but lately problems I considered of lesser importance are also bothering me less. It makes life noticeably more pleasant! I hadn’t planned for that!

Over 1 Year ago
chiarizio
 

Oh by the way:
I wrote:
If I figure out how to restore my discipline and compliance, I’ll let you know.


What got me unstuck was a “nurse-educator” (that is, a nurse whose job was teaching patients, among other duties) telling me I didn’t have to do everything all at once, or all first thing in the morning.

Oddly enough, relieving the pressure on myself to get it all done before noon, led to me actually getting out of bed when the alarm first went off, and doing some of my chores right away.

I told you if my discipline or compliance improved I’d let you know what did it for me.
Well; that was it!

If you make any sudden or noticeable progress — even if it’s not quite a breakthrough— please let us know?

Over 1 Year ago
chiarizio
 

If I figure out how to restore my discipline and compliance


A few things I've learned here:

  • Start small, especially when switching types of tasks. Getting one small thing done will build momentum for getting bigger things done.

  • Where possible, break big tasks down into smaller pieces. This lets you feel a sense of accomplishment for each small task.

  • Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is get organized. Getting your thoughts on paper (or in a digital form) is also enormously helpful. Cleaning the space you're in can have a huge impact too.

  • With mentally-intensive projects, sometimes the most productive thing you can do is nothing. This gives you time to think and some simpler solution may present itself.

  • Simplify everything as much as possible. There's nothing harder to deal with than a complicated situation that tries to achieve multiple goals at once.

  • Get some hobbies where you're making tangible things and try to do them daily. Start your day with them if you can. This primes your entire day, and since the results are tangible, they'll stick around and remind you in ways that transient chores or work does not. Doing these hobbies consistently also has an enormous impact on your overall ability to get things done.

    I have issues in that arena as well but have worked on them a lot.

  • Over 1 Year ago
    Xhin
    Sky's the limit

    Thanks for your comments, @Riven:!

    Over 1 Year ago
    chiarizio
     

    At tech school, I had to take classes in structural mechanics and structural design, and by the time I was finished, I could have literally calculated the whole of the structure of our building. The problems we had were sometimes incredibly complex, but our instructor would always say, "What is a complex problem but a whole bunch of small, simple problems all wrapped up into one?" So, really, our goal was to identify the simple problems which got in the way of us solving the main problem, and solve those first, and once we had those solved, the main problem would pretty much solve itself.

    I think that maxim can apply here quite nicely: life is a series of complex problems, and the best thing you can do is to approach them one at a time and break them down into their simplest components, and then focus on addressing each of the latter in turn. If you try to wrap your head around the entire problem or collection of problems facing you, you'll get nowhere; you'll find yourself completely overwhelmed to the point where you shut down.

    I had this problem when I was in college (the first time, not tech school): I had a semester wherein I had a Music History Seminar class and a writing-intensive Education class, and the former ran me so ragged that I nearly ripped apart at the seams -- until I sat down and broke down my workload into smaller chunks and scheduled some of these chunks each day, then focused on each day at a time rather than the whole damn thing at once.

    In that case, it was a twelve-page research paper written out of twelve difference sources minimum, combined with readings that I felt were way out of my league (I was an undergrad senior, these readings would have stumped grad students) and writings about those readings, all for a professor who was a micromanager and didn't know how to work with someone who had a disability, to the point where she literally reamed me out for stepping out of the classroom for five seconds to spit up in the trashcan because I was sick and didn't feel like hawking up in front of the class.

    In the case of life, it can be even tougher than that. Life has a way of ripping the carpet out from underneath you; you thus have to own it, you have to put your best foot forward, and when life does fuck you over, you have to learn from the event, grow from it, and move forward from it a stronger person than you were going in.

    Over 1 Year ago
    Black Yoshi

    @Black Yoshi:
    That sounds like a good example.

    Over 1 Year ago
    chiarizio
     

    Have you tried looking on the bright side?

    Over 1 Year ago
    Marvalo

    Marvalo Yes and I burned m y retinas now I"m just tryign to ge ta damn regular therpaist who isn't usele3ss.

    Over 1 Year ago
    tnu

    Have you tried looking on the bright side?


    @Marvalo:
    That’s one of the most frustrating things someone can say to a person fighting a mood disorder.

    It’s like telling a paraplegic “have you tried NOT being paralyzed?”

    Over 1 Year ago
    chiarizio
     

    That’s one of the most frustrating things someone can say to a person fighting a mood disorder.


    pretty much.

    Over 1 Year ago
    tnu

    Have you tried those online therapists?

    Over 1 Year ago
    ravenspirit

    Have you tried those online therapists?


    we've been trying to get a therpaist who can operate in both states that I tend to be in at any given time and it's a pain.

    I am baffled at this idea of just "getting a tehrapist" as if it's something people just "do" that doesn't involve a long complicated involved process each dzamn ti me like it seems to for me.

    Over 1 Year ago
    tnu



    Over 1 Year ago
    tnu

    we've been trying to get a therpaist who can operate in both states that I tend to be in at any given time and it's a pain.


    Oh so it’s like teachers, where their certifications are only statewide? :(

    Over 1 Year ago
    Weird Occurance

    Oh so it’s like teachers, where their certifications are only statewide? :(



    Yes this is one of the reasons it's such an ordeal every damn time.

    Over 1 Year ago
    tnu

    Yes this is one of the reasons it's such an ordeal every damn time


    Maybe online really would be worse.

    Is there one state you’re in more frequently than the other?

    Over 1 Year ago
    Weird Occurance

    https://youtu.be/vHDspkxhPvc

    This very accurtely describes my experience with therapy.

    Is there one state you’re in more frequently than the other?


    At this point it seems better if I were to check myself in to some sort of facility or asylum or something to just get the who le process over as quickly as possible and not devote more tiem to it than I absolutely have to. Whatever's quickest, cheapest, and most convenient. With a regular therapist I have to wait for an appointment which usually at most comes twice a week and since my old therapist said he couldn't h e lp me a good chunk of the early protion fo that is going to be getting the new one up to speed.

    Basically so far therapy has proven to be an unreliable costly commitment of time and money that I"m not exactly sure what I am supposed to be getting out of it so I don't even know how to tell if it's working.

    I am fairly convicnced that most of this will involve wasting precious seconds of my lifespan getting new shrinks up to speed as I"m bounced form one to the next until I finally fidn the "right one" or die before I find said right one.

    Over 1 Year ago
    tnu

    Most states have a reciprocity agreement with most other states.
    Which states are you talking about? And how do you know for sure they don’t recognize each the other’s licenses?

    Over 1 Year ago
    chiarizio
     

    Which states are you talking about? And how do you know for sure they don’t recognize each the other’s licenses?


    My aunt has said that before I can get a therapist we need to decide which state. the one I live in or the one she lives in and I plan to be visiting fairly often. Hopefully whatever shrink coems out of this wi ll be the last one.

    Over 1 Year ago
    tnu

    I wish you better luck!
    I can’t help thinking there’s something someone can do to speed things up: if only we knew what or who!

    Over 1 Year ago
    chiarizio
     

    I can’t help thinking there’s something someone can do to speed things up: if only we knew what or who!


    If there is it'd be nice if there wa sa way to reduce the trial and error involved so I can at least have less of my time wasted.

    But n I also think problem-solving is something material and practical and thus falls outside of the scope of a therapist. A plumber solves a problem by fixing my sink not b y making me feel better about the fact that it's broken. One of these problems for example would require a mediator to do what I consider as "solving" it not a therapist.

    One thing is I need to do away with the expectation that the therapist will be able to fix or solve anything. They might be able to do something helpful to one extent or antoher but they won't bea ble to fix or solve anything.

    Over 1 Year ago
    tnu

    @tnu:
    How has it been going since your last post here?

    Over 1 Year ago
    chiarizio
     

    not well delays due to my mom's health and my dad taking on some new endeavers htat have kept him busy have made this dificulte.

    Over 1 Year ago
    tnu



    Over 1 Year ago
    chiarizio
     

    I hope your mother recovers her health.
    And I hope you and your dad help each other take care of yourselves.

    Over 1 Year ago
    chiarizio
     

    This thread is archived